ey - remember Matt Duffy?"
"No, not entirely - oh wait, oh wait. He had that blogging job didn't he?"
"Yeah, that's the one."
"What about him?"
"Well, you ever noticed every time you clicked on his site, his entries were essentially slightly different versions of the same things?"
"Well there's only so much you can talk about when it comes to a blog that only concerns such a small college."
"Yeah, but this guy was psychotic. He was either talking about deer, talking about highways, or talking about having nothing to write about."
"I don't totally remember, but now I'm curious. Let's try finding that blog.... hmm hmmm... oh here it is. In the Colorado Mountain College blog archives."
"See what I'm talking about?"
"Yeah, you're right, you're right. This guy was insane."
"Let's watch this one... dated April 9th, 2010. Yep, it's another video that takes place on the highway. Did this guy only exist to drive?"
**video loads**
road. from Matt Duffy on Vimeo.
"What the hell is this?"
"Dude, it's freaking me out."
"It's just Aspen, man. Safest city in the world. Except for your skiing accidents, but those are brought upon yourself, not by oth--"
"Dude, turn it off! Turn it off!!"
"Why? Calm down, bro. It's just some minor indie band, Animal Collective or whatever, chanting above a music video compiled by some kid who apparently thought he was being artsy."
"Make it stop!!!"
"Ok, it's stopped. Here, I'll turn off the computer while I'm at it. Done. Done. Done! Christ, what is wrong with you?"
"It's not me, man. It was the video. "
"I don't know what to tell you. I don't even know why you had such a strong reaction to --"
"It was the pretentiousness, man! Pretentious overload. It was just too pretentious to exist..."
"Dude, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. It's all clear to me now. Let's get out of here man... there's a better world out there. A world where one can exist without such snobbery... a world where people can still listen to Lil Wayne... a world for the both of us. "
"Why K. Matt Duffy? Why?!?!"
Friday, April 9, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Spring Broke (Clever as this title gets)
So it's over. Well - not really. I still have Saturday. Sunday too. And day's encompass long periods of time... morning, afternoon, and nights. But for me - well, I just need to pretend it's over because the last time I wrote a blog entry I think I was just entering the 3rd grade.
Anyways, for a lot of people spring break entails the raunchiest moments of their lives, moments in which they released all their inhibitions (feel the rain on their skin?) and went out and lived their lives like they never had before, forgetting morals for the night, forgetting whats going to be left in their wallets for a while, forgetting whether they are single or married or - also usually forgetting everything that took place during the duration of the week due to inane blood-alcohol levels. A lot of people I know went to California, to Mexico, to places where the weather's great and bodies warm and life seemed to last forever. For me - I went home. I really don't understand spring breaks existence... for me, I'm either all or nothing. Give me a long break, or have me wait for the next big one. These miniature breaks in the midst of my schooling-groove sort of ruin things for me - I would have rather gone to school this week and got off April 20th, versus the 30th as plan goes. Do you care? I didn't think so either.
But that said, I didn't go much anywhere. Well, sometimes to Costco.Nowhere exotic. MTV Spring Break this was not. So for fear of reader-boredom, I will be chronicling my spring break in different varieties of writings - because, to reiterate, I really truly did nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't really want to. And for one, this will entertain me. I find writing these blog entries mundane. For two (is that a phrase?), this will entertain you - or actually, I'm guessing it will also annoy you. Which in turn entertains me - so either way, I win and you lose. Here goes:
FRIDAY: (Written in haiku format)
Drive home, forget school
Vail pass closed, entrapped in car
Many a finger I saw
I actually composed a video, so the next entry will show you how I spent the eight most monotonous hours of my life creeping alongside Vail pass. It got so bad that there were times in which I was able to turn my car off and whip out a magazine and read for hours as CDOT cleared up roads and I was stranded on the side of a totally remote mountain, working-heater-less and constantly forcing me to pour bottles of Heet into my suddenly-working jalopy. More on that later.
FRIDAY: (Written as a incredibly pretentious nostalgic self-memoir)
The warmest of warms shone through my bedroom window, early morning sunrays turning my child-hood sanctuary into a room of utter, purest ecstasy. The feeling - bliss! - of waking up, once again, not in the stink of the college dormitory but in the warmth, the comfort, the embrace of one's own home. My dog was the first to greet me, prancing into my room with the jingle of her identification tags, her loose tongue, her perceived smile we convinced ourselves was so, but really just the shape of her face as a the canine she was: Ever-loving. There was no difficulty in arising out of bed, no hesitation: To experience this new world of old, to be constantly swept away by simple objects which unexpectedly flooded one's mind with memories one had never though been of worthy of the life-records at the time, simple times when baking bread, simple times when watching movies with the family, simple times when....
OK, I've had enough, another sentence and I would've obliterated my computer with cuteness.
SATURDAY: (Written in list format)
- Drove to Twist & Shout (record store across from my old high-school, East, in Denver)
- Bought the following
a) Boards of Canada's Geogaddi (ambient electronic music, heavily influenced by nature, scary album)
b) Slint's Spiderland (1990's math-rock, literally uses mathematical equations to dictate it's songs, guitar wizardry at times)
c) Bark Psychosis's The Hex (post-rock album which means no lyrics and rock-and-roll instrument set as a sort of mini-pseudo-orchestra)
d) Sonic Youth's The Eternal (avant-garde rock, experimental and totally out-of-tune guitars. Enjoyable in a masochistic kind of way)
- Drove to Wax Trax records, looked around for My Bloody Valentine's Loveless (vinyl, already have CD), no avail
- Drove to Hollywood Posters (Colfax), about to buy Seven Samurai (seminal, as the name implies, samurai movie from 1950's by Kurosawa. Remade into equally good western, The Magnificent Seven, with Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, etc. Show-offy, yes.) poster then changed mind
- Had philly cheese-steak at Ted's (across from Wax Trax), saw some not-yet-graduated high-school chums, talked about meaningless stuff.
-Did a variety of other stuff abysmally exciting. I am more boring than I sound.
SUNDAY: (Written as a confessional)
I cannot remember.
MONDAY: (Written in lol-speak)
yo doodz 2day was the day of dayz. alot of my frenz g2 cu boulder n they alraedy had their s-b, so i wuz kinda stuk in the lonesome. brb. ok, bak. lol. newayz, during the nite i went to the du camplus planetarium or whatevz itz called n stargazed 4 about 2 hrs or so. it wuz kinda cloudy so i kudnt c the best stuff but i got a gud view of saturn, very close up. you can go to. my friend haz a job there so i got in 4 free-ninenty-nine but i think it costs 5 2 10 bux a head 2 get in. its all on tha website.
Had I been reading this, I too would want to reach through my computer screen and gag me.
TUESDAY: (Written like Hemingway, only less classic)
I got tickets to a concert at Herman's Hideaway. They were free. The band was called the Microdots. I arrived, and found little crowds. I sweated profusely, and could not figure why. I use Red Spice. Guess it doesnt work.
The band was merely OK. But for free, why complain?
Hipster girls eyed me with confused interest. Did I fit their lifestyle? Was I one of them? Could they approach me?
Neurotic sensibilities led me to believe this. Truth was, my fly was probably just down. Later in the night, I found out it actually was.
I also spilled food on my shirt. Except I was aware of this. I just did not care.
I am glum and gloomy throughout the night. I think of The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out". I realize that was a very hipster thought.
I call my friend, tell him this: If I ever embrace that lifestyle, hang me by the threads of my own hipster-scarf.
WEDNESDAY: (Written as an Apple advertisement)
I went to Twist and Shout again.
I could browse the aisles.
I could listen to music. I could buy stuff.
All within just one store.
I bought My Bloody Valentine's, Isn't Anything, on vinyl. For just $16.99.
The new purchase, by Matt Duffy.
It's good.
THURSDAY: (Written in olde English hyme)
Aghast I went
From pawn to pawn
In search of a buyer, done mowing lawn to lawn
In need of money I went to and fro,
Constantly being told by buyers "no, just no"
A wide variety of things I had to sell
Lies of quality I speaketh of them, pitting my soul into the depths of hell
Finally, alas! A woman, at Quebec and Leetsdale
Buys me ole videogames, my face goeth pale
Initially at five dollars a piece, manager regrets and ponders his niece
A college education she must have, thus I must -
OK, I'll stop, this is getting terrible.
I spent all my money buying those albums I mentioned above, and finally found a copy of Loveless (by My Bloody Valentine, an album I would highly recommend if you're into the extents of what can be done with the careful manipulations of the electric guitar. Very dream-like, very trancey, very ethereal-sounding record... defined the 1990's shoegazer movement... without hesitation my favorite album, and one of which I needed on vinyl while I was in Denver) so anyways I spent about 4 days travelling pawn shop to pawn shop, from the sleeziest sides of town to places only slightly less so. I was convinced a couple times that they places I were at were own by mob-bosses... gold chains, Adidas running gear, slicked back hair... you think I'm making this up? It was unreal how these guys fit their movie cliches.
But anyways I amassed the twenty bucks to buy the album, and it sounds beautiful.
I am going to recommend this album again : I recommend this album.
(If you're scratching your head as to why I repeatedly mention this album in near all my recent blog entries, I will comfort you with a message of reassurance: Yes, I am medically insane.)
FRIDAY: (Written plainly)
Sleep - every muscle of my body relaxed. Every neuron of my brain just slightly less active than usual. My eyes rested. My hunger nonexistent, my thirst quenched, my needs gone, my worries far. So what better away than to kill one's daily slice of ecstasy than waking up in a bedroom flooded with their own feces? My bedroom, in the basement, is adjunct to what is likely the most annoying bathroom in all, um, history (Gee, I'm eloquent aren't I). During the night both the shower and the toilet had bubbled up, our main sewage line entirely backed up and flooding everything our five-piece family had to eat that day right back into our homes. I spent the majority of this day vacuuming (with our very handy industrial water-suitable vacuum) clumps of turds and finding myself oddly humored by the pieces of corn sprawled across my carpet, before commencing to throw up places I had just labored over. Very fun day.
The plumber we got was even weirder. The guy, once again, looked straight out of Goodfellas: White button-up shirt, gold chain, slick hair, dress shoes and slacks. He came into our house and pumped out gutters, finding that our gigantic pine trees in the front-yard were creeping their roots into our sewage line, blockading it. And for the 3 or so hours he spent down there, he came back up with not a single spot on his shirt. I couldn't believe it.
So it's 2:21 in the morning, and I'm sleepy. I realize my writing isn't totally sharp, and it's largely due to the hallucinations I have suffered from today by smelling my own digestive system. I will click Publish Post now and be done with this as my eyes are drooping off and I am fatigued. Goodnight, goodbye, farewell, etc, etc, etc.
Anyways, for a lot of people spring break entails the raunchiest moments of their lives, moments in which they released all their inhibitions (feel the rain on their skin?) and went out and lived their lives like they never had before, forgetting morals for the night, forgetting whats going to be left in their wallets for a while, forgetting whether they are single or married or - also usually forgetting everything that took place during the duration of the week due to inane blood-alcohol levels. A lot of people I know went to California, to Mexico, to places where the weather's great and bodies warm and life seemed to last forever. For me - I went home. I really don't understand spring breaks existence... for me, I'm either all or nothing. Give me a long break, or have me wait for the next big one. These miniature breaks in the midst of my schooling-groove sort of ruin things for me - I would have rather gone to school this week and got off April 20th, versus the 30th as plan goes. Do you care? I didn't think so either.
But that said, I didn't go much anywhere. Well, sometimes to Costco.Nowhere exotic. MTV Spring Break this was not. So for fear of reader-boredom, I will be chronicling my spring break in different varieties of writings - because, to reiterate, I really truly did nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't really want to. And for one, this will entertain me. I find writing these blog entries mundane. For two (is that a phrase?), this will entertain you - or actually, I'm guessing it will also annoy you. Which in turn entertains me - so either way, I win and you lose. Here goes:
FRIDAY: (Written in haiku format)
Drive home, forget school
Vail pass closed, entrapped in car
Many a finger I saw
I actually composed a video, so the next entry will show you how I spent the eight most monotonous hours of my life creeping alongside Vail pass. It got so bad that there were times in which I was able to turn my car off and whip out a magazine and read for hours as CDOT cleared up roads and I was stranded on the side of a totally remote mountain, working-heater-less and constantly forcing me to pour bottles of Heet into my suddenly-working jalopy. More on that later.
FRIDAY: (Written as a incredibly pretentious nostalgic self-memoir)
The warmest of warms shone through my bedroom window, early morning sunrays turning my child-hood sanctuary into a room of utter, purest ecstasy. The feeling - bliss! - of waking up, once again, not in the stink of the college dormitory but in the warmth, the comfort, the embrace of one's own home. My dog was the first to greet me, prancing into my room with the jingle of her identification tags, her loose tongue, her perceived smile we convinced ourselves was so, but really just the shape of her face as a the canine she was: Ever-loving. There was no difficulty in arising out of bed, no hesitation: To experience this new world of old, to be constantly swept away by simple objects which unexpectedly flooded one's mind with memories one had never though been of worthy of the life-records at the time, simple times when baking bread, simple times when watching movies with the family, simple times when....
OK, I've had enough, another sentence and I would've obliterated my computer with cuteness.
SATURDAY: (Written in list format)
- Drove to Twist & Shout (record store across from my old high-school, East, in Denver)
- Bought the following
a) Boards of Canada's Geogaddi (ambient electronic music, heavily influenced by nature, scary album)
b) Slint's Spiderland (1990's math-rock, literally uses mathematical equations to dictate it's songs, guitar wizardry at times)
c) Bark Psychosis's The Hex (post-rock album which means no lyrics and rock-and-roll instrument set as a sort of mini-pseudo-orchestra)
d) Sonic Youth's The Eternal (avant-garde rock, experimental and totally out-of-tune guitars. Enjoyable in a masochistic kind of way)
- Drove to Wax Trax records, looked around for My Bloody Valentine's Loveless (vinyl, already have CD), no avail
- Drove to Hollywood Posters (Colfax), about to buy Seven Samurai (seminal, as the name implies, samurai movie from 1950's by Kurosawa. Remade into equally good western, The Magnificent Seven, with Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, etc. Show-offy, yes.) poster then changed mind
- Had philly cheese-steak at Ted's (across from Wax Trax), saw some not-yet-graduated high-school chums, talked about meaningless stuff.
-Did a variety of other stuff abysmally exciting. I am more boring than I sound.
SUNDAY: (Written as a confessional)
I cannot remember.
MONDAY: (Written in lol-speak)
yo doodz 2day was the day of dayz. alot of my frenz g2 cu boulder n they alraedy had their s-b, so i wuz kinda stuk in the lonesome. brb. ok, bak. lol. newayz, during the nite i went to the du camplus planetarium or whatevz itz called n stargazed 4 about 2 hrs or so. it wuz kinda cloudy so i kudnt c the best stuff but i got a gud view of saturn, very close up. you can go to. my friend haz a job there so i got in 4 free-ninenty-nine but i think it costs 5 2 10 bux a head 2 get in. its all on tha website.
Had I been reading this, I too would want to reach through my computer screen and gag me.
TUESDAY: (Written like Hemingway, only less classic)
I got tickets to a concert at Herman's Hideaway. They were free. The band was called the Microdots. I arrived, and found little crowds. I sweated profusely, and could not figure why. I use Red Spice. Guess it doesnt work.
The band was merely OK. But for free, why complain?
Hipster girls eyed me with confused interest. Did I fit their lifestyle? Was I one of them? Could they approach me?
Neurotic sensibilities led me to believe this. Truth was, my fly was probably just down. Later in the night, I found out it actually was.
I also spilled food on my shirt. Except I was aware of this. I just did not care.
I am glum and gloomy throughout the night. I think of The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out". I realize that was a very hipster thought.
I call my friend, tell him this: If I ever embrace that lifestyle, hang me by the threads of my own hipster-scarf.
WEDNESDAY: (Written as an Apple advertisement)
I went to Twist and Shout again.
I could browse the aisles.
I could listen to music. I could buy stuff.
All within just one store.
I bought My Bloody Valentine's, Isn't Anything, on vinyl. For just $16.99.
The new purchase, by Matt Duffy.
It's good.
THURSDAY: (Written in olde English hyme)
Aghast I went
From pawn to pawn
In search of a buyer, done mowing lawn to lawn
In need of money I went to and fro,
Constantly being told by buyers "no, just no"
A wide variety of things I had to sell
Lies of quality I speaketh of them, pitting my soul into the depths of hell
Finally, alas! A woman, at Quebec and Leetsdale
Buys me ole videogames, my face goeth pale
Initially at five dollars a piece, manager regrets and ponders his niece
A college education she must have, thus I must -
OK, I'll stop, this is getting terrible.
I spent all my money buying those albums I mentioned above, and finally found a copy of Loveless (by My Bloody Valentine, an album I would highly recommend if you're into the extents of what can be done with the careful manipulations of the electric guitar. Very dream-like, very trancey, very ethereal-sounding record... defined the 1990's shoegazer movement... without hesitation my favorite album, and one of which I needed on vinyl while I was in Denver) so anyways I spent about 4 days travelling pawn shop to pawn shop, from the sleeziest sides of town to places only slightly less so. I was convinced a couple times that they places I were at were own by mob-bosses... gold chains, Adidas running gear, slicked back hair... you think I'm making this up? It was unreal how these guys fit their movie cliches.
But anyways I amassed the twenty bucks to buy the album, and it sounds beautiful.
I am going to recommend this album again : I recommend this album.
(If you're scratching your head as to why I repeatedly mention this album in near all my recent blog entries, I will comfort you with a message of reassurance: Yes, I am medically insane.)
FRIDAY: (Written plainly)
Sleep - every muscle of my body relaxed. Every neuron of my brain just slightly less active than usual. My eyes rested. My hunger nonexistent, my thirst quenched, my needs gone, my worries far. So what better away than to kill one's daily slice of ecstasy than waking up in a bedroom flooded with their own feces? My bedroom, in the basement, is adjunct to what is likely the most annoying bathroom in all, um, history (Gee, I'm eloquent aren't I). During the night both the shower and the toilet had bubbled up, our main sewage line entirely backed up and flooding everything our five-piece family had to eat that day right back into our homes. I spent the majority of this day vacuuming (with our very handy industrial water-suitable vacuum) clumps of turds and finding myself oddly humored by the pieces of corn sprawled across my carpet, before commencing to throw up places I had just labored over. Very fun day.
The plumber we got was even weirder. The guy, once again, looked straight out of Goodfellas: White button-up shirt, gold chain, slick hair, dress shoes and slacks. He came into our house and pumped out gutters, finding that our gigantic pine trees in the front-yard were creeping their roots into our sewage line, blockading it. And for the 3 or so hours he spent down there, he came back up with not a single spot on his shirt. I couldn't believe it.
So it's 2:21 in the morning, and I'm sleepy. I realize my writing isn't totally sharp, and it's largely due to the hallucinations I have suffered from today by smelling my own digestive system. I will click Publish Post now and be done with this as my eyes are drooping off and I am fatigued. Goodnight, goodbye, farewell, etc, etc, etc.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Boom Goes The Dynamite
Quickie: Being a small town, Glenwood - frankly- does not contain a whole lot of news. Maybe that's the whole appeal of living in small towns, considering that news tends to revolve around the latest murder or kidnapping. Colleges tend to be in small towns anyways, don't look as that as a detriment to attending CMC. But anyways, the whole talk of the town has been hard to avoid today, and somewhat applies to my past entry on I-70 (which I might've said something along the lines of, "Not that bad" when it comes to road safety)... news is boulders the size of semi-trucks hit I-70 last night, tearing apart the bridge and delaying traffic from going in or out of Glenwood for the next couple days while they rebuild the bridge.
Photo of which I do not know how to cite properly (Denver Post).
Maybe it's a sign of global warming, maybe it's Obama's fault... or maybe rocks just like to fall every once in a while. But the amount of destruction is described as massive, with a 17 mile stretch leading to Glenwood totally blocked off (this is right outside of town, hence the relevance of this entry). The boulders are so big that C-DOT (basically those who take care of our highways during the winter season... likely the most "hardcore", if that term is even appropriate, group of highway maintenance men in the nation considering the Rockies are... the biggest mountains on this continent.) is unable to move them and is rigging them with explosives in order to blow them up into smaller chunks capable of being moved. Apparently up to twenty boulders all hit the highway at about midnight yesterday (...or today?), which means it'll be a while until anyone can get through.
Yoooouuuuu shaaaaaallll nooot paaaaassss!!!!
There's a lot of teachers/kids who commute to attend here, and it'll be a while before they can attend class again. Thankfully spring break doesnt start for about 3 more weeks, so it should be clear by then when I make the commute back to my residence of yore, Denver. Detours are possible, but average estimate is that they take about 7 hours to trek the same distance - which is really worth coming for a 1-2 hour class, meaning a lot of kids also had class cancellations today.
In the words of great late renaissance poet Mattheus Duffyeus, "One must sacrifice convenience to live amongst beauty."
Couldn't have said it better myself, Mattheus, couldn't have said it better myself.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Los Juegos Extremo
While I was playing around the video editing in the last entry, I remembered I had some old X-Games footage which I hadn't really thought worthy of a video, nor a blog entry of it's own.
Well, for whatever reason, it is now.
To add some filler (I feel odd posting a blog entry less than 200 words), the X-Games are, if you're oblivious to pop culture as a whole, are short for the "Extreme-Games" - the local snowboarding/skiing/whatever competition in which the world's greatest in their field congregate here in Aspen to do spinny flips and all sorts of stuff. I did assume you already knew this, but once again, I've yet to reach the 200 word mark.
Anyways, I don't have an awful lot of footage aside from what you'll see below for reason that I could never truly get a good view of much anything - 80% of the time spent there was waiting in crowds that violently turned into lines, pushing, shoving, screaming to get up on the Super-Pipe, grabbing hair, stealing babies... OK, no babies... but otherwise being pretty civil about the whole thing.
Apparently, the group I was with appeared on TV, but not having TiVo sort of prevents me from seeing this footage... but somewhere in the deep confines of everything that's both recorded and televised, I'm there, all .623 seconds of me.
Something about where we were on the super-pipe and the physics of it all (it being on a huge slant, where I was even unable to stand without gripping the blockade-fence) made it so that multiple times the snowboarders would launch out directly in front of us, the mist from their snowboards spraying into our faces, some people actually opening their mouths to catch it... at least snow-flakes are clean, you weirdos.
As usual, the X-Games were composed of long-haired rad-brahs, little kids in XXL clothing, people who did not follow snowboarding at all, parents, mostly teenagers, and attractive girls no longer really attractive because of the ridiculous amounts of clothing you have to don in order to stay warm, thus limiting your sex appeal in favor of (Seriously, what the hell)... common sense. Which is why I prefer surfing, spectator-sport wise. Volleyball works too.
I can't really tell you who we saw or who won what (and considering the X-Games happened something like... a month ago), I doubt you care, nor did I at the time. Other than that whatever I was witnessing was the Women's SuperPipe finals.
Also, you ever watch those YouTube videos of just generic footage - like somebody rock-climbing or whatever - and the uploader has insisted on overdubbing it with their favorite song in the assumption that you also share their taste in music, and will appreciate the song? And all you wanna do is watch the video in it's pureness, full of the sounds of the moment and not a song you don't want to hear? Or that they assume they hold superior music taste to you, and you hearing the song in the video will thus make you a fan? Aren't those guys great?
In hopes of annoying you, this is precisely what I've done in the video below.
Also another song by MBV, whom I hope to influence you into buying their record/CD/mp3 so that they receive enough funding to go on tour again. I wasn't a fan during the reunion tour, and now that I am, I am pulling all strings to subliminally influence them to do it again. Or at least record a third album, which has been in promise for over a decade now... once again, carried away. CMC in no way supports this band, but I obviously do.
Enjoy the video, all singular minute of it.
Well, for whatever reason, it is now.
To add some filler (I feel odd posting a blog entry less than 200 words), the X-Games are, if you're oblivious to pop culture as a whole, are short for the "Extreme-Games" - the local snowboarding/skiing/whatever competition in which the world's greatest in their field congregate here in Aspen to do spinny flips and all sorts of stuff. I did assume you already knew this, but once again, I've yet to reach the 200 word mark.
Anyways, I don't have an awful lot of footage aside from what you'll see below for reason that I could never truly get a good view of much anything - 80% of the time spent there was waiting in crowds that violently turned into lines, pushing, shoving, screaming to get up on the Super-Pipe, grabbing hair, stealing babies... OK, no babies... but otherwise being pretty civil about the whole thing.
Apparently, the group I was with appeared on TV, but not having TiVo sort of prevents me from seeing this footage... but somewhere in the deep confines of everything that's both recorded and televised, I'm there, all .623 seconds of me.
Something about where we were on the super-pipe and the physics of it all (it being on a huge slant, where I was even unable to stand without gripping the blockade-fence) made it so that multiple times the snowboarders would launch out directly in front of us, the mist from their snowboards spraying into our faces, some people actually opening their mouths to catch it... at least snow-flakes are clean, you weirdos.
As usual, the X-Games were composed of long-haired rad-brahs, little kids in XXL clothing, people who did not follow snowboarding at all, parents, mostly teenagers, and attractive girls no longer really attractive because of the ridiculous amounts of clothing you have to don in order to stay warm, thus limiting your sex appeal in favor of (Seriously, what the hell)... common sense. Which is why I prefer surfing, spectator-sport wise. Volleyball works too.
I can't really tell you who we saw or who won what (and considering the X-Games happened something like... a month ago), I doubt you care, nor did I at the time. Other than that whatever I was witnessing was the Women's SuperPipe finals.
Also, you ever watch those YouTube videos of just generic footage - like somebody rock-climbing or whatever - and the uploader has insisted on overdubbing it with their favorite song in the assumption that you also share their taste in music, and will appreciate the song? And all you wanna do is watch the video in it's pureness, full of the sounds of the moment and not a song you don't want to hear? Or that they assume they hold superior music taste to you, and you hearing the song in the video will thus make you a fan? Aren't those guys great?
In hopes of annoying you, this is precisely what I've done in the video below.
Also another song by MBV, whom I hope to influence you into buying their record/CD/mp3 so that they receive enough funding to go on tour again. I wasn't a fan during the reunion tour, and now that I am, I am pulling all strings to subliminally influence them to do it again. Or at least record a third album, which has been in promise for over a decade now... once again, carried away. CMC in no way supports this band, but I obviously do.
Enjoy the video, all singular minute of it.
A Video.
I never lie.*
Couple months ago I promised a video detailing the sights-and-sees of I-70, which is what I consider one of the most scenic highways in possibly the world. So after months of capturing footage and video editing, I offer my dearest readers … a pretty mediocre video. Windows Movie Maker bugged out on me, not displaying footage in the preview window and didn’t really decide to start working until this morning. So I captured further footage from further winter months (as the original video I made… when was that entry written? Nov/Dec?), so if you’re confused as to why some of the mountains are snowy and yet seconds later it’s bright, warm and sunny– well, Colorado weather isn’t that bipolar. Pretty close, but not enough to radically convert itself in a three hour time span (Which is essentially how long it takes the Greyhound to go from Glenwood to Denver, unless it’s snowing, whereas you can be prepared for a 5-6 hour journey accompanied by your favorite local alcoholics).
Before you watch the video, I apologize for two things: As far as cinematography goes, I have ADD. Also, if you don’t like the song, turn down your speakers. You’re not missing any audio commentary (I know.. Thank God). But the song is Loomer by My Bloody Valentine, not to be confused with Bullet for My Valentine or My Chemical Romance, or the movie itself (for which the band is named, based of it’s original incarnation).
A seminal 90’band, MBV were the pioneers of the shoe-gazer movement, epitomizing the definition of their sound with their album Loveless (released in November of 1991), an album highly acclaimed by critics and fellow musicians alike (Brian Eno of Talking Heads/David Bowie/U2/Coldplay/Devo producing fame commented on it’s single “Soon” as being, “…a new standard for pop…it’s the vaguest music to ever have been a hit”.) and often unanimously hailed as one of the greatest albums of the decade - outranking even Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit in indie-wire Pitchfork’s Greatest Albums of the 1990’s list, a list that would later be -
Um, sorry... carried away.
Enjoy the video.
*That was... that was a lie.
Couple months ago I promised a video detailing the sights-and-sees of I-70, which is what I consider one of the most scenic highways in possibly the world. So after months of capturing footage and video editing, I offer my dearest readers … a pretty mediocre video. Windows Movie Maker bugged out on me, not displaying footage in the preview window and didn’t really decide to start working until this morning. So I captured further footage from further winter months (as the original video I made… when was that entry written? Nov/Dec?), so if you’re confused as to why some of the mountains are snowy and yet seconds later it’s bright, warm and sunny– well, Colorado weather isn’t that bipolar. Pretty close, but not enough to radically convert itself in a three hour time span (Which is essentially how long it takes the Greyhound to go from Glenwood to Denver, unless it’s snowing, whereas you can be prepared for a 5-6 hour journey accompanied by your favorite local alcoholics).
Before you watch the video, I apologize for two things: As far as cinematography goes, I have ADD. Also, if you don’t like the song, turn down your speakers. You’re not missing any audio commentary (I know.. Thank God). But the song is Loomer by My Bloody Valentine, not to be confused with Bullet for My Valentine or My Chemical Romance, or the movie itself (for which the band is named, based of it’s original incarnation).
A seminal 90’band, MBV were the pioneers of the shoe-gazer movement, epitomizing the definition of their sound with their album Loveless (released in November of 1991), an album highly acclaimed by critics and fellow musicians alike (Brian Eno of Talking Heads/David Bowie/U2/Coldplay/Devo producing fame commented on it’s single “Soon” as being, “…a new standard for pop…it’s the vaguest music to ever have been a hit”.) and often unanimously hailed as one of the greatest albums of the decade - outranking even Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit in indie-wire Pitchfork’s Greatest Albums of the 1990’s list, a list that would later be -
Um, sorry... carried away.
Enjoy the video.
*That was... that was a lie.
I70 snipshotz from Matt Duffy on Vimeo.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Undah Kunstruschun!
Just an FYI to anyone whose clicked on this blog for the first time. And yeah, I realize the text is indecipherable from the background image... just bear with me until I get this stuff sorted out. I've never taken any classes for HTML or have any previous background knowledge on what really means, so the site might be in a kaputz until I learn the cyber-lingo. And it's not as if I even update all too often, but it should be working by the end of the night.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
The Best Way Into A Woman Is Through Her Stomach
Did that - wait, does that even make sense?
But: You know what I mean. The year's annual Valentine's Day approaches, and for many it is a time of reinvigorating what many find their sole reason for existence: really weird, kinky stuff. Or at least in my case. For others, it comes down to no more than the utterance of the word "love", a word that carries so much connotation, so much symbolism, and yet dissolves into no more than biology - lust, love, procreation, and in some cases, chocolate. Go easy on it, ladies. Please.
No, really, I'm serious.
But my rambling leads me to my point: Valentine's Day - apart from it's usual cliches like fresh-picked roses, hand-written Hallmark cards, and state regulation handcuffs - always carries the tradition of eating. Near all our holidays revolve around feasting of some sort, doing the thing that we as western society have somehow found to be not a solitary activity, but an act of communion, a time in which all people are gathered over a thing we can all relate to, regardless of gender, religious beliefs, outlook on life, or taste in music: food. We can all relate to food. We all eat. While many in our tossed-salad of America hold differences - even grudges - based merely on ideals and taste in cultural mediums, love is the thing we can all relate to - love is something we all do, and thus held is Valentine's Day's universal appeal. Forget your distaste and self-perceived act of rebellion against society for celebrating a holiday that promotes a consumerist culture of materialistic things like diamonds and other sorts, and just celebrate the holiday for chrissake. Stuff is on sale. Like chocolates - go at 'em.
Except you, ladies - Please God, chill out on those things. You've had enough. Stop eating them.
So what better thing to do than bring your loved one out to a local restaurant! Glenwood Springs, frankly, has some of the best dining in the Valley - in many a ways, while Aspen is the tourist destination, Glenwood remains the real "hub" of the area... one that's realistically priced, one where you can buy a t-shirt not made Ralph Lauren, one that has some decent restaurants a college kid can afford.
Being frank - I can't get out much. Constant car trouble has kept me hermitted to school grounds, hence my lack of blog entries on anything going on outside of campus. I'm on my second car this year and it too has died on me after $400 dollars in repairs. So apologies in advance in your favorite restaurant is not represented or I failed to mention a Glenwood Essential. I try to get out, but I can only eat at so many places.
First off is The Brew-Pub:
You're going to be spending a little extra money on the lust-of-yer-life this Valentine's Holladay, so don't fret when you find that BrewPub's burgers are priced an average of over ten dollars. If you're of drinking age, The BrewPub offers a wide variety of beers, including the local Hanging Lake beer and some more somewhat-exotic types, like pumpkin and honey flavored ales. Hence the name of the restaurant, the BrewPub makes it's syrups right there on restaurant grounds - no trucking, no importation, straight from the source of thy womb. The atmosphere is also very pleasant, with oak (or some type of....wood) furniture all around. Not necessarily romantic, but if you expect furniture to take over your charming responsibilities, you should not be dating. If you're not of drinking age - well, the burgers are still good. The last time I was in there, I had the bison-burger which set me back $14 dollars or so but was fairly good and arrived within a reasonable amount of time. It wasn't as soft as a Ted's bison burger is, but that's a place in Denver so I guess comparisons can't really be made: As far as I know, it's the only place that offers near-extinct-animal meat in town. Vet-Tech girls love that kind of stuff.
The Brew-Pub is located across from the Amtrak railway station. It's sort of hard to miss, it's amongst the tallest buildings in town.
Next up is The Italian Underground.
I ate here once (Self-realization: Add an "h" to ate, and you form "hate". Seeing that the majority of our language is derived from Latin, would anyone know what the roots of "ate" are? Is there really an association between hating, and eating? Did any body else just think cannibalism? No, nobody? Cannibalism can also be an act of love, you know. What better way to appreciate the presence of a loved one than eat them? OK, I'm sorry - back to the rest of this paragraph: ) while waiting for the Greyhound, and was a little bothered considering my lack of time as to how ridiculously long it took to get an order of spaghetti. But - it was worth it. Very good stuff. Also, before your order you are given salad, and afterwards gelato, which is basically Italian ice-cream and is not incredibly different than from what you get here in the states, plus or minus thickness. I wouldn't call the extras "free", as IU charges over ten bucks a plate, but once again, it's a one-day a year exception. Apparently, the Italian Underground is also located in one of the oldest buildings in Glenwood, which is a cool fact you can tell your loved one in case the conversation lulls and you don't really have much else to say, like what just happened here.
The Italian Underground is located sort of underneath the big bridge in downtown Glenwood. I'd offer directions but downtown Glenwood encompasses such a small amount of town that all you'd have to do is drive for a block and realize that everything is located within a nine second proximity of everything else. It's hard to get lost.
For the carnivore in everyone, there is Juicy Lucy's, which I ate at with my parents years back and - Holy God, it's expensive. This is a place you'll go to if you really want to impress your date, with the sheer amount of cash you're willing to spend on something no more than beef-flank. I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure for my mom and dad the total amount came to about $60 dollars for two steaks a piece. You'd think with a name like Juicy Lucy's you'd get a down-home burger shack (you know, versus a place named something like "Jean-Pierre's Fantastique Eaterie" pronounced with special French emphasis on vowels regardless of the country you dine in).
Also, did anyone else read the name "Juicy Lucy" and have the first word into their mouths spell out "cannibalism"? No, no one? Really? Ok, well, um, let's move on then...
Aaaaaaaaaaay, es mi hombre Peppo Nino, un restaurante de comida Italian en el centro commercial de la ciudad de Glenwood. Peppo Nino es un restaurante muy Italiano. Los precios era reasonable por un occasion especialmente de tu y tu novia o novio, mas o menos $10-15 dollars (No pesos!) por un plato. Mi favorito es un comida de se llama "alfredo" ---- mmmmm, es muy rico!! El ambiente es muy oscuro - es beneficial por los clientele muy romanticas jajajajaja. Anyways, I have a hard time comparing this place to the Italian Underground as I've only been once to both places, and to side with one or the other would imply me, being a pseudo-employee of CMC and thus a representative of an organization, a favoree of one place over the other - so I can't really recommend you one or the other, other than I kind of liked Peppo Nino a little better. Did I - did I just do that?
Peppo Nino is also located in the same general area as the other restaurants, a block or two away from the train station.
You know what's also romantic, now that I think about it? Taking the train. The views are beautiful, and the last time I took the train (from California to Denver - I think it was the Zephyr I took) I remember they're being an entire compartment entirely composed of glass. The walls, the doors, the roof - all glass! Or really sturdy plastic. It was a really neat-o experience, and despite how glacially slow the train moves (A trip to Denver from Glenwood via train takes about 7 hours. Greyhound takes 3 hours. Via car, it's about 2 and 1/2 hours. If you decide to walk, be sure to bring company as it might take a couple days. That way you'll have someone to eat. Oh, oops, that was a typo. I meant that way, you'll have a companion to help you hunt for food. Like him.)
Of course, taking the train and then trying to be back by Monday is sort of nonsensical, unless you were to get on the train, sit down, pretend you had been there for hours, and get off with your date before it leaves. Which isn't really romantic at all, just sort of weird.
The last place I can think of at the moment is the Nepalese Restaurant down here pretty close to CMC, at the base of the hill you have to climb in order to get up here. I find it sort of ridiculous that I can't exactly remember it's name - it might be for no more reason that it was just titled Nepal Restaurant. Anyways - who said romantic evenings have to contain romantic food? What makes some foods more romantic than others? Does a food know it's romantic? It's eat to live, not live to eat. This advice applies to you specifically, ladies. This nation is experiencing an obesity epidemic, and you are guilty for 50% of it. FIFTY PERCENT. That's more than twenty-five percent! I find it appalling you women can eat so much.
Anyways, back to the restaurant: As the name implies, they serve Nepalese food, not Chinese as I suspected you originally thought it did. I was introduced to this restaurant via my 20th Century World History class I took last semester (It's taught by Dr. Wadyko, very enjoyable class, I'd recommend any one coming here to take it next time it's offered.) where we were given presentations on life in Nepal, and additionally brought in Nepalese food. I liked the samplings so much I had to try an actual meal myself. The restaurant is slightly odd in it's serving styles, though - food is given to you via cafeteria trays, which despite my previous statement on foods and romanticism, isn't really romantic at all. But it's exotic, and very fun stuff to eat. I remember this pita bread that you dipped in some hummus-textured cream (except it was spicy) to honestly have been one of the most memorable things I've ever eaten. It's good stuff.
And last of all, at the days end, you can bring your loved on to the local Kaleidoscoops, whom actually offer more than Baskin Robbins 39's flavors - a place that continues to advertise it's 39 flavors, despite Kaleidoscoops's clear superiority variety-wise. Ice-cream is pretty cliche romantic eating affair, but dammit, it tastes good. Alongside your staples like mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, and Oreo flavor are more exotic types like graham cracker crust, Moose tracks, and peanut butter cup stuff. Unfortunately, they did not offer Human flavor, which is my favorite and you really don't see in a lot of places. I searched, read and re-read every flavor of ice-cream and studied even their ingredient labels in the case that Human flavor was possibly placed under a more misleading name, something alone the lines of "Bloody Valentine", "Soylent Green" (I just spoiled that movie for you) or "People With Sprinkles" but to no avail. But no matter- ice-cream is quissential romantic, and despite our 30 degree days, it never fails to taste good. It keeps it's shape better, and you don't have to worry about it running down your hands, so I think it's all a big plus.
SO - that's all I can recommend, based off my limited knowledge of the town's restaurants, so at the least I hope I could provide at least some sort of advice. Hope you guys have a pleasant Valentine's Day, ho ho ho and all that stuff.
But: You know what I mean. The year's annual Valentine's Day approaches, and for many it is a time of reinvigorating what many find their sole reason for existence: really weird, kinky stuff. Or at least in my case. For others, it comes down to no more than the utterance of the word "love", a word that carries so much connotation, so much symbolism, and yet dissolves into no more than biology - lust, love, procreation, and in some cases, chocolate. Go easy on it, ladies. Please.
No, really, I'm serious.
But my rambling leads me to my point: Valentine's Day - apart from it's usual cliches like fresh-picked roses, hand-written Hallmark cards, and state regulation handcuffs - always carries the tradition of eating. Near all our holidays revolve around feasting of some sort, doing the thing that we as western society have somehow found to be not a solitary activity, but an act of communion, a time in which all people are gathered over a thing we can all relate to, regardless of gender, religious beliefs, outlook on life, or taste in music: food. We can all relate to food. We all eat. While many in our tossed-salad of America hold differences - even grudges - based merely on ideals and taste in cultural mediums, love is the thing we can all relate to - love is something we all do, and thus held is Valentine's Day's universal appeal. Forget your distaste and self-perceived act of rebellion against society for celebrating a holiday that promotes a consumerist culture of materialistic things like diamonds and other sorts, and just celebrate the holiday for chrissake. Stuff is on sale. Like chocolates - go at 'em.
Except you, ladies - Please God, chill out on those things. You've had enough. Stop eating them.
So what better thing to do than bring your loved one out to a local restaurant! Glenwood Springs, frankly, has some of the best dining in the Valley - in many a ways, while Aspen is the tourist destination, Glenwood remains the real "hub" of the area... one that's realistically priced, one where you can buy a t-shirt not made Ralph Lauren, one that has some decent restaurants a college kid can afford.
Being frank - I can't get out much. Constant car trouble has kept me hermitted to school grounds, hence my lack of blog entries on anything going on outside of campus. I'm on my second car this year and it too has died on me after $400 dollars in repairs. So apologies in advance in your favorite restaurant is not represented or I failed to mention a Glenwood Essential. I try to get out, but I can only eat at so many places.
First off is The Brew-Pub:
You're going to be spending a little extra money on the lust-of-yer-life this Valentine's Holladay, so don't fret when you find that BrewPub's burgers are priced an average of over ten dollars. If you're of drinking age, The BrewPub offers a wide variety of beers, including the local Hanging Lake beer and some more somewhat-exotic types, like pumpkin and honey flavored ales. Hence the name of the restaurant, the BrewPub makes it's syrups right there on restaurant grounds - no trucking, no importation, straight from the source of thy womb. The atmosphere is also very pleasant, with oak (or some type of....wood) furniture all around. Not necessarily romantic, but if you expect furniture to take over your charming responsibilities, you should not be dating. If you're not of drinking age - well, the burgers are still good. The last time I was in there, I had the bison-burger which set me back $14 dollars or so but was fairly good and arrived within a reasonable amount of time. It wasn't as soft as a Ted's bison burger is, but that's a place in Denver so I guess comparisons can't really be made: As far as I know, it's the only place that offers near-extinct-animal meat in town. Vet-Tech girls love that kind of stuff.
The Brew-Pub is located across from the Amtrak railway station. It's sort of hard to miss, it's amongst the tallest buildings in town.
Next up is The Italian Underground.
I ate here once (Self-realization: Add an "h" to ate, and you form "hate". Seeing that the majority of our language is derived from Latin, would anyone know what the roots of "ate" are? Is there really an association between hating, and eating? Did any body else just think cannibalism? No, nobody? Cannibalism can also be an act of love, you know. What better way to appreciate the presence of a loved one than eat them? OK, I'm sorry - back to the rest of this paragraph: ) while waiting for the Greyhound, and was a little bothered considering my lack of time as to how ridiculously long it took to get an order of spaghetti. But - it was worth it. Very good stuff. Also, before your order you are given salad, and afterwards gelato, which is basically Italian ice-cream and is not incredibly different than from what you get here in the states, plus or minus thickness. I wouldn't call the extras "free", as IU charges over ten bucks a plate, but once again, it's a one-day a year exception. Apparently, the Italian Underground is also located in one of the oldest buildings in Glenwood, which is a cool fact you can tell your loved one in case the conversation lulls and you don't really have much else to say, like what just happened here.
The Italian Underground is located sort of underneath the big bridge in downtown Glenwood. I'd offer directions but downtown Glenwood encompasses such a small amount of town that all you'd have to do is drive for a block and realize that everything is located within a nine second proximity of everything else. It's hard to get lost.
For the carnivore in everyone, there is Juicy Lucy's, which I ate at with my parents years back and - Holy God, it's expensive. This is a place you'll go to if you really want to impress your date, with the sheer amount of cash you're willing to spend on something no more than beef-flank. I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure for my mom and dad the total amount came to about $60 dollars for two steaks a piece. You'd think with a name like Juicy Lucy's you'd get a down-home burger shack (you know, versus a place named something like "Jean-Pierre's Fantastique Eaterie" pronounced with special French emphasis on vowels regardless of the country you dine in).
Also, did anyone else read the name "Juicy Lucy" and have the first word into their mouths spell out "cannibalism"? No, no one? Really? Ok, well, um, let's move on then...
Aaaaaaaaaaay, es mi hombre Peppo Nino, un restaurante de comida Italian en el centro commercial de la ciudad de Glenwood. Peppo Nino es un restaurante muy Italiano. Los precios era reasonable por un occasion especialmente de tu y tu novia o novio, mas o menos $10-15 dollars (No pesos!) por un plato. Mi favorito es un comida de se llama "alfredo" ---- mmmmm, es muy rico!! El ambiente es muy oscuro - es beneficial por los clientele muy romanticas jajajajaja. Anyways, I have a hard time comparing this place to the Italian Underground as I've only been once to both places, and to side with one or the other would imply me, being a pseudo-employee of CMC and thus a representative of an organization, a favoree of one place over the other - so I can't really recommend you one or the other, other than I kind of liked Peppo Nino a little better. Did I - did I just do that?
Peppo Nino is also located in the same general area as the other restaurants, a block or two away from the train station.
You know what's also romantic, now that I think about it? Taking the train. The views are beautiful, and the last time I took the train (from California to Denver - I think it was the Zephyr I took) I remember they're being an entire compartment entirely composed of glass. The walls, the doors, the roof - all glass! Or really sturdy plastic. It was a really neat-o experience, and despite how glacially slow the train moves (A trip to Denver from Glenwood via train takes about 7 hours. Greyhound takes 3 hours. Via car, it's about 2 and 1/2 hours. If you decide to walk, be sure to bring company as it might take a couple days. That way you'll have someone to eat. Oh, oops, that was a typo. I meant that way, you'll have a companion to help you hunt for food. Like him.)
Of course, taking the train and then trying to be back by Monday is sort of nonsensical, unless you were to get on the train, sit down, pretend you had been there for hours, and get off with your date before it leaves. Which isn't really romantic at all, just sort of weird.
The last place I can think of at the moment is the Nepalese Restaurant down here pretty close to CMC, at the base of the hill you have to climb in order to get up here. I find it sort of ridiculous that I can't exactly remember it's name - it might be for no more reason that it was just titled Nepal Restaurant. Anyways - who said romantic evenings have to contain romantic food? What makes some foods more romantic than others? Does a food know it's romantic? It's eat to live, not live to eat. This advice applies to you specifically, ladies. This nation is experiencing an obesity epidemic, and you are guilty for 50% of it. FIFTY PERCENT. That's more than twenty-five percent! I find it appalling you women can eat so much.
Anyways, back to the restaurant: As the name implies, they serve Nepalese food, not Chinese as I suspected you originally thought it did. I was introduced to this restaurant via my 20th Century World History class I took last semester (It's taught by Dr. Wadyko, very enjoyable class, I'd recommend any one coming here to take it next time it's offered.) where we were given presentations on life in Nepal, and additionally brought in Nepalese food. I liked the samplings so much I had to try an actual meal myself. The restaurant is slightly odd in it's serving styles, though - food is given to you via cafeteria trays, which despite my previous statement on foods and romanticism, isn't really romantic at all. But it's exotic, and very fun stuff to eat. I remember this pita bread that you dipped in some hummus-textured cream (except it was spicy) to honestly have been one of the most memorable things I've ever eaten. It's good stuff.
And last of all, at the days end, you can bring your loved on to the local Kaleidoscoops, whom actually offer more than Baskin Robbins 39's flavors - a place that continues to advertise it's 39 flavors, despite Kaleidoscoops's clear superiority variety-wise. Ice-cream is pretty cliche romantic eating affair, but dammit, it tastes good. Alongside your staples like mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, and Oreo flavor are more exotic types like graham cracker crust, Moose tracks, and peanut butter cup stuff. Unfortunately, they did not offer Human flavor, which is my favorite and you really don't see in a lot of places. I searched, read and re-read every flavor of ice-cream and studied even their ingredient labels in the case that Human flavor was possibly placed under a more misleading name, something alone the lines of "Bloody Valentine", "Soylent Green" (I just spoiled that movie for you) or "People With Sprinkles" but to no avail. But no matter- ice-cream is quissential romantic, and despite our 30 degree days, it never fails to taste good. It keeps it's shape better, and you don't have to worry about it running down your hands, so I think it's all a big plus.
SO - that's all I can recommend, based off my limited knowledge of the town's restaurants, so at the least I hope I could provide at least some sort of advice. Hope you guys have a pleasant Valentine's Day, ho ho ho and all that stuff.
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